My kindergarten just held its nth annual recital, an affair treated with the same level of planning and ritual as the Academy Awards or a presidential visit. Teacher movements were calculated down to the minute, meetings went on long into the night, all to ensure that the annual taking-photos-of-three-year-olds-yelling-and-wetting-their-pants went off without a hitch. And it did! I guess!
Please enjoy the fruits of 4 years of English education, the crowning achievement of my teaching career (seriously, I can't think of anything more satisfying), as performed by Rainbow Class at the 2011 Happyokai:
And, as an illustration of how early education is different in Japan, how many times did you do this in music class? How much do you wish you could have?
Mind you, these kids aren't particularly amazing or disciplined outside of this activity; this class is one of the more unruly ones at the school. Maybe it's just because this is awesome and everybody loves to do it.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Snow Day
Sorry, no blog this week. In case you haven't heard, Osaka has been stricken by the white-hot vengeance of the season. Snow demons, what hath thou wrought?
The school buses stopped running, the city buses were about half an hour late, there was utter chaos. Teachers (not me) threw snowballs at other teachers (also not me). It got so bad that even a well-meaning gaijin couldn't take out the garbage from Activity Kids without getting thoroughly dusted.
Happy Valentine's Day, snow demons. And a hearty fuck you to you, too.
The school buses stopped running, the city buses were about half an hour late, there was utter chaos. Teachers (not me) threw snowballs at other teachers (also not me). It got so bad that even a well-meaning gaijin couldn't take out the garbage from Activity Kids without getting thoroughly dusted.
Happy Valentine's Day, snow demons. And a hearty fuck you to you, too.
Monday, February 7, 2011
In the Name of Conglomerated Soy, Demon Come OUT!
Yes, the weather is turning, the gleeful bacchanalia of Groundhog's Day is past us, which means that it's time once again for that greatest of all holidays: Demon-Bean-Banishing Day!
Just in case you don't happen to remember the traditional practices of Setsubun (for shame!): on February 3rd, which is the lunar New Year, a family will gather at home or at a nearby shrine and fling dried soybeans at a designated family member wearing a demon mask. While doing so, they're supposed to shout "鬼はそと！福は内！", or "Demons out! Good luck in!" In addition, everyone is supposed to eat a number of beans corresponding to their age. Are you sensing a theme here?
Since I'm employed at the kindergarten this time around, I'm in a little better position to see how this fascinating holiday is celebrated by its core demo. And "demo" is absolutely the right word here, as it turns out! According to my cooking instructor -- a man just old, ornery, and Japanese enough for me to believe absolutely anything he says -- Setsubun is more or less made up by the relevant corporations, in particular by Big Soybean. I know, it's horrendous that such a pure celebration of faith and...I don't know, joy or something can be exploited by greedy industries. The practice of throwing beans at demons does go back a few centuries, but it's exploded in the past 30 years thanks to big advertising pushes from the soybean conglomerates.
Worse, the tradition of eating makizushi was entirely invented about 20 years ago by grocery stores! The thing that gets me about this is just how wholeheartedly I bought into the entire affair. I mean, every year on a Medieval demon-themed day, you're supposed to face a special compass direction as determined by Chinese geomancy and eat an eel roll? Of course! You can't make that shit up! Unfortunately, as it turns out, someone absolutely did make that shit up.
Still, I can't let the Man get me down. Nothing to do but try to enjoy and terrify:
This photo was picked from hundreds taken by my coworkers, and is unique among the roll in that there are no crying children in it. The vice principal, a lady whom I will only describe as "classy" as long as I am employee of Harumidai Kindergarten, gave an introductory Setsubun speech to all the students. As she did so, the kids were quietly equipped with a small pouch of dried beans. Here's an excerpt from the beginning of the talk (keeping in mind that my Japanese is not yet on par with a 3-year-old):
"So, children, it's been very cold lately, right? And maybe you've been feeling sick lately? Well, that's because of demons. There are demons in your house and school." Fun, yeah? Is this really the sort of thing you should be instilling in kids?
Then, two of the bus drivers jumped out in masks and tiger-print loincloths (called onipantsu, or "Demon Underwear"), wielding huge clubs and yelling at two hundred odd children. Hence the crying. I think this is one of the beloved childhood rituals that is way, way more fun for the adults than the kids, and thus is remembered and cherished by each generation so they can visit its horrors upon the next.
Then the vice principal invited the demons on stage to announce their conquest and introduce the laws of their new regime to the children.
On an unrelated note:
No idea why, but the "Digital TV" monster was absolutely everywhere, including a 5-foot-tall version at the kindergarten. I had come to the conclusion that it was for parents who were opposed to Digital TV and wanted to drive it from their homes. A friend tells me that it may just be one more reminder for Japanese adults that analog broadcasts will be ending soon. And hey, not a bad way to remind people; if memory serves, they tried absolutely everything else to let people know about the digital switchover in the States.
Just in case you don't happen to remember the traditional practices of Setsubun (for shame!): on February 3rd, which is the lunar New Year, a family will gather at home or at a nearby shrine and fling dried soybeans at a designated family member wearing a demon mask. While doing so, they're supposed to shout "鬼はそと！福は内！", or "Demons out! Good luck in!" In addition, everyone is supposed to eat a number of beans corresponding to their age. Are you sensing a theme here?
Since I'm employed at the kindergarten this time around, I'm in a little better position to see how this fascinating holiday is celebrated by its core demo. And "demo" is absolutely the right word here, as it turns out! According to my cooking instructor -- a man just old, ornery, and Japanese enough for me to believe absolutely anything he says -- Setsubun is more or less made up by the relevant corporations, in particular by Big Soybean. I know, it's horrendous that such a pure celebration of faith and...I don't know, joy or something can be exploited by greedy industries. The practice of throwing beans at demons does go back a few centuries, but it's exploded in the past 30 years thanks to big advertising pushes from the soybean conglomerates.
Worse, the tradition of eating makizushi was entirely invented about 20 years ago by grocery stores! The thing that gets me about this is just how wholeheartedly I bought into the entire affair. I mean, every year on a Medieval demon-themed day, you're supposed to face a special compass direction as determined by Chinese geomancy and eat an eel roll? Of course! You can't make that shit up! Unfortunately, as it turns out, someone absolutely did make that shit up.
Still, I can't let the Man get me down. Nothing to do but try to enjoy and terrify:
This photo was picked from hundreds taken by my coworkers, and is unique among the roll in that there are no crying children in it. The vice principal, a lady whom I will only describe as "classy" as long as I am employee of Harumidai Kindergarten, gave an introductory Setsubun speech to all the students. As she did so, the kids were quietly equipped with a small pouch of dried beans. Here's an excerpt from the beginning of the talk (keeping in mind that my Japanese is not yet on par with a 3-year-old):
"So, children, it's been very cold lately, right? And maybe you've been feeling sick lately? Well, that's because of demons. There are demons in your house and school." Fun, yeah? Is this really the sort of thing you should be instilling in kids?
Then, two of the bus drivers jumped out in masks and tiger-print loincloths (called onipantsu, or "Demon Underwear"), wielding huge clubs and yelling at two hundred odd children. Hence the crying. I think this is one of the beloved childhood rituals that is way, way more fun for the adults than the kids, and thus is remembered and cherished by each generation so they can visit its horrors upon the next.
Then the vice principal invited the demons on stage to announce their conquest and introduce the laws of their new regime to the children.On an unrelated note:
No idea why, but the "Digital TV" monster was absolutely everywhere, including a 5-foot-tall version at the kindergarten. I had come to the conclusion that it was for parents who were opposed to Digital TV and wanted to drive it from their homes. A friend tells me that it may just be one more reminder for Japanese adults that analog broadcasts will be ending soon. And hey, not a bad way to remind people; if memory serves, they tried absolutely everything else to let people know about the digital switchover in the States.
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