[insert clever title here]

So, the first thing that I noticed about Japan after my thirteen (13) hour flight from Ohare to Narita was the fact that the toilet that I was desperately needing to use had volume control. Why might a toilet need volume control? you might ask. I was also curious. I then sat down and discovered that the toilet seat was heated. (I might add right now that when I landed in Japan it was a very humid 95 degrees.) I soon learned what the volume control on the toilet was for: artificially produced flushing sounds designed to cover any sounds you might make whilst in the toilet. And, apparently if you are particularly pee shy, you can turn the volume up quite high. I will also add that this was one of two toilets I had the option of using--the other was a porcelain hole in the ground. I didn't feel ready to tackle that cultural experience yet, so I decided to use a toilet that would have seemed not out of place on the Starship Enterprise (except the button labels were written in both English and Japanese and everyone knows that the crew of the Starship Enterprise only speaks English). Also, it being a hole in the ground, I didn't know which way to face. (I have since learned that when using a squat toilet, you face the plumbing. Got that, America? Face the plumbing.)

When I exited the airport, I found myself at a bus terminal where I was ushered onto a bus full of Midwesterners. Unfortunately, I had to wait and wait and wait for the stragglers to make their way outside, so I spent an hour staring blankly out the bus window. The random chunks of concrete sitting on the island in the middle of the bus terminal had little Zen garden rakings around them.

So far, that's about all that I've learned about what is up with Japan. Here in Tokyo, myself and about 2000 of my closest friends are being held here in the Keio (fittingly pronounced "K.O.") Plaza Hotel, which is most assuredly the most expensive hotel I have ever been in, undergoing "Tokyo Orientation." And we all are being forced to wear suits. I haven't even got to have a bite of sushi yet. Apparently they don't trust these gaijin to handle Japanese food yet, so they keep feeding us things like pasta with marinara sauce (borrrrrrrrrrrrring). But, there was steamed vegetable medley on the breakfast buffet this morning.

Also, today I had my first experience with communicating in Japanese. I walked up to what looked like coffee and confidently said to the lady behind the table "Koohii deska?" (Is it coffee?) to which she replied "Hai," (yes) and bowed. I was so unbelievably happy that I almost cried and wanted to kiss her to show my gratitude. Also, I was immediately rewarded with a delicious cup of coffee.

Tomorrow, I go to Osaka. I hope I'm able to sleep more than 4 consecutive hours at some point in the near future. That would rock.