Listicle Touring: 6 Amazing Things You Don't Know About Life in China That Will Literally Restore Your Faith in Humanity. What Happens Next Will Blow Your Mind. Hashtag.

Over the *mumble* kilometers that we traveled in China, we had the chance to encounter a fair number of crazy, kooky things in China that we hadn't expected.  And now, for your illumination, I present them to you in the traditional manner of my people: a numbered list.

1. Babies wear pants with a big ol' split in the crotch.

Note: this is not an original photo.  All credit to the original photographer, mostly
because I don't want to be known as the dude with all the photos of baby butts.

Yes, we'd heard of this before visiting China, but there was still something of a triple-take every time we saw these garments in action.  The usual emotional journey goes like this: disbelief, shock, disgust, curiosity, looking away because you don't really want to be watching a baby ding-dong.  Historically, these pants were used instead of diapers, which does kind of make some sense if you live in a country with a ton of outdoor space and not an abundance of clean things that can afford to get baby poop all over them.  Now that diapers are more common, you'll often see diapers worn under the split pants, which makes all kinds of sense.

In our experience, parents seem to be pretty on-the-ball about being respectful with baby poop.  This cute lil' guy with the mohawk, for instance?  We looked away to take some photos, and happened to look back just as the mom was holding him gingerly over a plastic bag (sorry, no photos of that).  The boy seemed to be taking it in stride.  I would have opted for the traditional "Dog Doo Technique" and put the bag inside-out over my hand.  Actually, knowing me, I would have probably fled the country instead.

2. People smoke cigarettes out of enormous bongs.

This one was a bit of a shock.  Old men (and only old men) assemble by the side of the road or in little restaurants throughout the day and stuff the filter end of their cigarette in the chamber and pull huge lungfuls of smoke out of the bong.  Sometimes they're made of elaborately carved bamboo or wood, but most of the time they're this sort of repurposed-tin-can material.  I assumed they were just huge pipes, but we saw waitresses pour liters of dirty water out of these things into the street (and onto our shoes).

Our only guess is that these bongs are so popular because, I've been told, Chinese cigarettes are nasty.  Even nasty by the standard of foul-smelling rolls of tar and cyanide.  So maybe they use these to...I don't know, make the smoking experience more pleasant?  I guess it must beat quitting.

3. Condoms are extremely plentiful.

Photo also not taken by me.  I'm not a creeper.

Walk into a pharmacy or supermarket in China and there's usually a giant wall of condoms.  This is notable mostly compared to our experiences in Korea and Japan, where condoms are usually very surreptitiously kept behind the counter or hidden away somewhere, and then usually only one or two boxes of local brands.  I guess Korea and Japan are both struggling with population decline, and...um...

...Is this insensitive?  I feel insensitive for bringing this up.  Let's move on.

4. Everybody wants a photo with us!

Basically everywhere we went, whenever we had even the slightest interaction with someone in Yunnan province, when we finished up they asked if they could take a photo.  Shopkeepers, hotel staff, waitresses, random pedestrians, everybody wanted a piece of us.  Sometimes they wanted to be in the photo with us, sometimes they just wanted us...standing there awkwardly (well, I'm not sure if that's what they wanted, but that's what they generally got).  This guy poured me a beer and tried very, very hard to communicate with me while I was waiting for my dinner.  We're best friends now.

This guy just happened to be around, I think.

We always heard that foreigners traveling in this part of the world got a lot of attention from the locals.  And sure, we occasionally hear people mutter the word laowai as we walk past (the equivalent of gaijin in Chinese, and also one of about four Chinese words we understand).  But the attention all seemed to be pretty positive, as far as we could tell.  People wanted to talk, they wanted to know something about us, but mostly they just wanted a record of us being there.  Can't say I understand what they would do with these pictures -- "Hey, remember that guy I met for thirty seconds, the one I couldn't talk to or understand?" -- but it's nice to be celebrities all the same.  We're trying to enjoy it before going back to looking like everyone else (but far more attractive).

5. They sure eat a lot of bread in China.

Photo also not mine.  No bread has ever lasted long enough around me for anyone to get their camera out.

We assumed that, like Japan and Korea, the diet in China would be generally rice-based.  But while we were in Qingdao and Beijing, everyone sure seemed to be eating and selling a whole lotta bread.  Flatbread, fry bread, onion bread, cheese bread, rice bread, rye bread.  Bread bread bread.  Bread.  Bread is a funny word, isn't it?  I forget where I was going with this.

6. There's three-wheeled cars everywhere!

Yes!  Just like Mister Bean!

Actually, a lot of them seemed to be three-wheeled motorcycles (some kind of...tri-motorcycle) that confusingly had the shell of a car installed over it.  Whee!