One of the most popular brands of coffee sold in Japan is called "Boss" Coffee, featuring two corporate logos: a silhouette of an old guy with a pipe (a recurring theme in Japanese design, I've found), and Tommy Lee Jones putting in the hardest day's work of his life.
I believe it took Tommy Lee over 6 hours to get this pose exactly right.Springsteen may be the Boss in the Western Hemisphere, but here he must share his crown with half of the Men in Black. Naturally, people take their coffee in different ways. For the boring, hung-over, and racially sensitive, Boss sells this:
I can't imagine why this hasn't made it to the U.S. Hmm...Japan will also occasionally put revered cultural icons on their soft drinks in an effort to enshrine their national heroes in a popular venue:
Ultraman Cider. Yes, that Ultraman. It's soda shaped like his head.Come on, America, what happened to competing with the Japanese? Why haven't we started producing soda shaped like the heads of our own beloved TV stars? I, for one, would love to drink soda out of the head of, say, Alf. Or Data. Hell, even Bill O'Reilly's Conserva-Cola!
There's nothing really all that hilarious about Dakara, except that it really pushes the boundaries of beverages to the limit (also, it advertises how little style it has rather proudly):
I love you, sports drink. But until the government recognizes our love, we must remain only "Life Partners."
To make sure "Life Partner" is forever associated with milky-white sports drinks, this one reinforces the image with a detachable merit badge/bottlecap, here modeled by a young man with at least as much style and panache as Tommy Lee Jones:
It took me 15 foot-rubs and a move to Japan to get the Life Partner Merit Badge. Worth it!
There's nothing really all that hilarious about Dakara, except that it really pushes the boundaries of beverages to the limit (also, it advertises how little style it has rather proudly):
I love you, sports drink. But until the government recognizes our love, we must remain only "Life Partners."To make sure "Life Partner" is forever associated with milky-white sports drinks, this one reinforces the image with a detachable merit badge/bottlecap, here modeled by a young man with at least as much style and panache as Tommy Lee Jones:
It took me 15 foot-rubs and a move to Japan to get the Life Partner Merit Badge. Worth it!Speaking of cloudy-white sports-themed beverages (best not to think about it), Japan's most popular drink remains, inexplicably, this:
JAM IT IN YOUR FACE-HOLE!
OK, get out some good laughs, now. Yes, it's a drink that advertises itself as "sweat" (there's also "Pet Sweat," I guess for particularly athletic Schnauzers). I've been told, though, that the idea is a medicinal one: your body sweats, and Pocari Sweat replenishes the energy and nutrients that are lost in the sweat. Much of traditional Japanese (and Chinese) medicine works in a similar fashion, really; herbs and minerals improve the body's processes by making up for substances that it lacks. Not to seem too horribly ignorant/racist here, but it does recall Western Medieval medicinal theory, doesn't it?
"Hey, Ted, what's wrong? You look down!"
"Aw, I dunno, I guess I'm just feeling kinda...melancholy. I hope nothing's wrong with my spleen!"
"Nah, you just need to slam a can of new YELLOW BILE COLA!"
*They mosh, rock out, do other extreme activities*
YELLOW BILE COLA: GET CHOLERIC, BITCH!
Still, it makes at least as much sense as "electrolytes."
JAM IT IN YOUR FACE-HOLE!OK, get out some good laughs, now. Yes, it's a drink that advertises itself as "sweat" (there's also "Pet Sweat," I guess for particularly athletic Schnauzers). I've been told, though, that the idea is a medicinal one: your body sweats, and Pocari Sweat replenishes the energy and nutrients that are lost in the sweat. Much of traditional Japanese (and Chinese) medicine works in a similar fashion, really; herbs and minerals improve the body's processes by making up for substances that it lacks. Not to seem too horribly ignorant/racist here, but it does recall Western Medieval medicinal theory, doesn't it?
"Hey, Ted, what's wrong? You look down!"
"Aw, I dunno, I guess I'm just feeling kinda...melancholy. I hope nothing's wrong with my spleen!"
"Nah, you just need to slam a can of new YELLOW BILE COLA!"
*They mosh, rock out, do other extreme activities*
YELLOW BILE COLA: GET CHOLERIC, BITCH!
Still, it makes at least as much sense as "electrolytes."
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