Case of the Haunted Mountain

You know what they say: if you don't take time to enjoy the finer things in life, you'll never have a chance to hemorrhage your savings at the rate of one week's pay per minibar purchase. In that spirit, Jenn and I embarked on a voyage to distant Yoshino, a mountain destination recommended by some friends. Yoshino is home to the Second Largest Wooden Building in Japan (really), which is more impressive when you realize that the Largest Wooden Building in the World is in Japan. It's also known as a nice site to plan day trips to Nara, which is funny, as we discovered the next day that Nara is considerably closer to Osaka than to Yoshino -- indeed, Nara may be closer to some foreign planets than it is to Yoshino. But that's another story entirely.

We made arrangements to stay at a ryokan, a traditional Japanese inn. That was about the extent of our knowledge of ryokans, really...that and the 30,000 yen/night price tag.

After a ride on the Oldest, Scariest Cable Car in the World (the first of many, many superlatives on this trip), we found ourselves overlooking a gorgeous scene. Sadly, our lodging was not visible from this particular vista. So in between shifts of looking at the map and shouting, we took pictures to commemorate our trip on Facebook.

Yoshinoyama is actually the Most Inconsistently Windy Place in Japan

We spent most of the day arguing about whether the place marked "やこさ" was actually our hotel, which (according to the website) is named "さこや". Japan's full of hilarious little brainteasers like that. After standing in the abandoned street for a sufficiently awkward amount of time, we uncovered another sign on the same building proving that this was our place. We were offered a "welcome drink" which we happily accepted only to find that the name was a bit misleading: it was actually more of a "welcome pudding." The Tastiest Misnomer in Japan!

Gravity costs extra at Sakoya Ryokan.

Our room was pretty fantastic. Really, the cost was reasonable considering how expensive rent is in Japan; being 15 times nicer than our apartment and 30 times bigger, we're lucky that we didn't have to pay a security deposit. On the table there is sakura tea, our Second Most Immediate Welcome Drink in Yoshino.

Having no bed to jump on yet (they set up the futon while we were at dinner), we decided to take a walk around Scenic Yoshino. There were some pretty awesome leaves...


but oddly enough, absolutely no people. I'd been warned that autumn is Yoshino's second peak season after spring, when the mountain explodes in a glorious, colorful explosion of vacationing sarariimen and their families there to see the cherry blossoms. No foot traffic, no vehicle traffic, and all the shops were closed at 4:30. Happenin'!

That night, we were treated to the dinner that was included in the cost of the room. We were led through hallways and up and down several staircases, ending up alone in a room with a huge spread of exotic, scary-ass food: unidentifiable gelatins, raw beef, and enough weirdly-colored, oddly-shaped things to recall the monkey brain scene in Temple of Doom.

I would have started with what appeared to be the desert plate set right in front of us but for the fact that that plate also featured a raw, head-on shrimp. We managed to finish what we were given, and it was all delicious, though I'm not ruling out the possibility of something bursting out of my chest for another week or two.

One of the other big draws of Sakoya is the on-site onsen, hot baths popular across Japan for purposes other than getting clean. It's just like the traditional Turkish bath, except 1. there's sake service (read: an unguarded barrel of sake right by the bath), 2. mandatory nudity, and 3. I'm always the hairiest guy in the place. No pictures of this. You're welcome.

The next morning, right before our Farewell Drink (yep), we woke up early enough to take in services at Kinbusenji Temple, the aforementioned Biggest and Oldest, Bestest Wooden Building Around.

Located right next to the Smallest, Least Impressive Wooden Building in Japan.

For more photos of the trip (and other randomness), check out this link: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2107710&id=36103018&l=c8a8bc6de6

Overall, an intimidating, awkward, expensive voyage to a mysterious locale where we understood maybe a tenth of what went on around us. That's Japan!