Internet 101: A Series of Tubes

The following is a public service message for the chronologically advanced and/or technologically deficient. It is not intended for critical purposes, but rather for entertainment and education. As the Baby Boomers say: Be thee warned, freeman varlet.

Here at "Amazing Tales of the Gaijin Patrol" (now the #4 Google result for gaijin+tales), we like three things better than anything else: cross-cultural understanding, garlic bread, and comments on our blog. Despite the inherent dishonesty of such activities, we frequently solicit comments through sternly-worded pleas or idle threats at the ends of our posts -- after all, here we are throwing our backs out getting the word to the international community, and all we look for in return is the occasional word of reaction (and, oh, maybe a book deal). We love to hear from you, in short! There are obstacles, however...computational obstacles.

We often get feedback from some of our readers who encounter difficulty with the "Comments" section of the blog. Most of these readers are...well...OK, if you have bought the Beatles' "White Album" more than three times (for instance, CD, cassette tape, vinyl, and wax cylinder) then you may have the occasional problem interfacing with the inter-webs. I don't want to turn this into a generational war, so I'll keep the focus on our peers; after all, we may not have invented it, but Generation Y does self-absorption at least as well as the Boomers (damn, and I was going to keep this civil!). Jenn and I, I believe, are of the last generation that will be able to remember the first website they ever went to (the Animorphs fansite, in my case, back in 1995) and the first generation to be turned to by prior generations for tech support help.

Again, parents, grandparents, and relatives and friends who happened to be born before "MacGyver" first aired: I hope you take no offense at any of this. We love you very much, and if my rhetoric comes off as arrogant and patronizing, just remember that it's all pathetic compensation for my generation not accomplishing anything more impressive than accumulating large collections of Beanie Babies and Pokemon.

We don't have any magical instant understanding of technology. I am perpetually baffled by the inner workings of my computer, and I am still in caveman-level awe of Google Earth. This sums up the generational situation rather well, I think. For reference: here is how to comment on any of the posts on this blog:

1. Click on the link at the bottom of the post that says "0 comments"...or, if you don't see that, any other link that contains the word "comment."

2. Type your comment in the box provided.

3. Type the letters in the word verification form, if applicable (if there's a picture with some fuzzy, slanted letters and numbers with an empty white form under it, just type what you see in the box).

4. Choose how to identify yourself: if you have a Google or Gmail account, put that in the boxes provided. If not, best to go with "Name/URL," where you can leave your name. Don't worry about the "URL" box unless you have a website that you want to plug. When you're all done, click the orange "Publish Your Comment" button. See picture.


That's about it. If you have any questions or anything you want to tell us, go ahead and give the "Comments" thing a spin! And to the next generation: if you happen to scroll up this blog post from the archives of the Global Digital Techno-Consciousness, I hope you have a good laugh on your way to help remind Grandpa Harry how to check his cyber-mail again.