Racist, Racister, Racistest

Last week, when we were strolling down Midosuji as we are wont to do (hey, karaoke isn't going to come to us), we heard music, a sort of bouncy, cheery march, floating between skyscrapers and down alleyways. We smiled at each other; it was a nice day, the first Sunday of autumn, and the music added a lightly festive air to the sunny weather. We could hear some lyrics in the vaguely Japanese-sounding tune, but hell, we can barely understand slow, perfectly enunciated Japanese, so understanding lyrics is still at least a decade of study beyond our abilities. We held hands. I wondered if I was being paranoid or if passersby really were giving us more nasty looks than usual...

Then the loudspeaker kicked in at frightening volume: the only words we understood were "Amerika," "gaijin," and "Nippon" (meaning "Japan," but with nationalistic connotations). And then we saw, rounding the corner of Shinsaibashisuji, the Crazy Racist Van, decked out in Japanese Battle Flags and illegible (to us) messages that we could only assume are jingoistic slogans.

It wasn't much of a demonstration, but then, it never is. We've seen this sort of procession before, always on a weekend or national holiday, never more than a dozen or so people, always in the same area around Midosuji, one of the biggest streets in Osaka. The most we've seen is a couple of trucks with a parade of silent, headband-wearing, flag-waving middle-aged dudes (always men); the least was the unaccompanied Racist Van.

I'm not really qualified to talk about the extent or severity of racism in Japan; I'm just a dude who happens to live in a country. So, in the spirit of journalistic circumspection, I will limit this post to stuff that has happened to me, to Jenn, or to anyone we happen to know. Or...anyone we've heard of. Plus here are some links. Information in the fifth person or less, is what I'm saying.

A couple of friends of ours just took their Japanese driving tests for the third time; the first, they failed because they failed to wear dresses and make-up (they're women, that is probably a relevant fact). This last time, it was because one of them crept out at a stop sign to look each way before proceeding (for shame!). Each time, they say, they have words with a group of cheerful gaijin who are taking the test for the fourth or ninth or eleventh time. I know, I know, it must be because white people are such terrible drivers. Even if that weren't the case, though, word is that they fail each time for a similarly made-up-sounding reason -- too far to the left, too far to the right, too slow, too fast, too close, too far, etc. The ultimate conclusion that most of them came to through laborious application of the scientific process: they don't want gaijin driving, so they find reasons to fail them.

Having exhausted my anecdote and my other anecdote, it's time for the conclusions! Once again, I'm not saying that Japan is more racist than the U.S. or anywhere else. Kirksville, MO was home to one of the biggest names in Neo-Nazism in the Midwest, and he was an extremely vocal minority indeed, but he was representative of Americans in the same way that Spider-Man is representative of New Yorkers. Japan has a reputation for dealing with race differently than the U.S. does, but shit, so does everywhere else. We share a large part of our history, culture, and language (well, pretty much) with Australia, and look what came out of there last year to riotous applause:

If you ask me, it says just as much about how easy it is to entertain Australians as it does about race relations.

I guess what I'm trying to say here is: it's interesting being put in a situation that I have heard about and read about my whole life, but never experienced in the first person (well, second person). I'm certainly glad that my first foray into discrimination is in a country where most people are far too polite to speak to strangers even of their own race...though it would do wonders for my liberal self-righteousness to be able to speak of my own struggles with conquering racism; as it is, "one time I saw a truck that was racist" is so little hardship that sociopathic white supremacists would be unimpressed by my plight.