Gimme a Break

Japan is a land of mystery and romance: arcane religious rituals (ooooh); stylized theater and art (aaaaah); weird Kit Kats (*applause*).

I know we're going over fairly well-trod gaijin ground here, but the funky seasonal Kit Kats are one of the joys of living over here. In short, Kit Kats really took off in Japan in the mid-90s, when it became popular to give one to a student who had a test coming up; the Japanese pronunciation of the candy bar, "kitto-katsu," means something approximating "good luck" or "you will pass for sure." For whatever reason, possibly due to Japan's love of regional specialty dishes and limited-time food variants, Kit Kat varieties have exploded. Depending on the time of year and the alignment of the stars, at your local 7-11 you can find Mango, Black Sesame, Sweet Potato, Melon, Cheesecake, Cherry, Blueberry, Miso, Chile, Corn, and Potato Kit Kats (really). Here are the one's we've tried at Gaijin HQ (excepting English Milk Tea, which we gobbled up before taking a picture):

Framboise and Bitter Almond:


The Framboise one was sort of a sugary assault on the mouth that first brings to mind sugar-dipped sugar-covered raspberry paste, and then, when the flavors have settled a little, brings to mind a dentist. Bitter Almond is considerably better, not too sweet with plenty of test-passing power. C- and A- respectively.

Banana:


No complaints about Banana Kit Kat at this point...


Now, though, is when it lets loose with a nasty odor and flavor that is equal parts car wax and ear wax. It...it tastes yellow, like pure distilled essence of yellow. The only way I can describe the horror is if you imagine, with each bite, that the ghost of every artificial banana-flavored popsicle and candy has been summoned to haunt your mouth until you've appeased their spirits by brushing for 10 minutes straight. See the doom in Jenn's eyes there, the terrible knowledge that we still had 2/3 of it left to eat? Yeah. Yeah. We couldn't get any farther into it than that before trashing the rest. F+.

Raspberry & Passion Fruit:


Definitely my favorite of the bunch. The sort of fruity, tart deliciousness that I imagine an Oompa-Loompa might eat on its cigarette break. A.

Green Tea and Cherry Blossom:

This couldn't be more Japanese if they put Hello Kitty on the wrapper and dipped the whole thing in squid ink.


Tastes pretty good, too. B+.

Sorry, there will probably be no further blogalicious hijinx later this week, as we're taking a trip to Tokyo so we can gain a greater understanding of how silly Osaka-ben sounds. We'll bring you back omiyage, promise!